Introduction

Pastor Ortiz opened a brand new series on the tongue, warning the church in advance that it would be an uncomfortable one. He said the series follows naturally after the church's recent series on joy, since so much of what steals joy comes out of the words people choose to say to one another. He pointed out that most people speak thousands of words a day and give almost none of them a second thought, even though the Bible treats the power of speech with total seriousness.

A Small Member With Outsized Power

Reading from James 3, Pastor Ortiz noted that James, the half brother of Jesus, wrote the longest single treatment on speech found anywhere in the New Testament. James opens by warning that few should presume to teach, since teachers face a stricter judgment, and that the person who never offends in word has reached the rare level of a perfect man. Pastor Ortiz said anyone who is easily offended by others should examine their own heart first, since being easily offended is usually a sign of pride rather than genuine hurt. James then compares the tongue to a bit placed in a horse's mouth and the small helm that steers a massive ship. Pastor Ortiz recalled visiting decommissioned submarines at San Francisco's Maritime Museum and being struck that a helm barely the size of a hand could turn a vessel carrying two hundred men. In the same way, a small, careless choice of words can steer an entire relationship, home, or reputation far off course. He said speech is never only about the information being passed along, since the same request can land completely differently depending on how it is said. He gave the example of walking up to someone and demanding to know where the food is versus gently asking whether there is food available or whether he should go pick something up himself. The words carry almost the same information, but one puts the other person on the defensive and the other invites an actual conversation, and he said learning to notice that difference is where guarding the tongue actually begins.

The tongue is a fire. Pastor Ortiz pointed to James's warning that the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity capable of setting an entire life ablaze, and connected it to how quickly a single spark, even a discarded cigarette, has burned entire hillsides in California. He told the story of a pastor who grew increasingly frustrated at a drive through window after his order was repeated back wrong several times in a row. Just before snapping at the cashier, the Holy Spirit checked him, and he held his tongue instead. He later learned from the manager that the woman taking his order had lost her son that same morning and had nowhere else to be but work. Pastor Ortiz said the story is a picture of how easily anger looks for a target without knowing what the other person is actually carrying, and he urged parents especially to guard against venting the frustrations of a long day onto a spouse or child who only asked an innocent question.

What comes out of the mouth reveals what fills the heart. James asks whether a single fountain can produce both sweet and bitter water, or whether a fig tree can bear olives. Pastor Ortiz said the container itself is never the problem, it is what was poured into it. He described a running example of a church member who, every time he is asked how he is doing, brings up the same old grievance against another member, weeks and even months later. That pattern, he said, is not a passing complaint but a heart issue, a root of bitterness that needs to be pulled up rather than managed. He read James's description of wisdom from above as pure, peaceable, gentle, and full of mercy, set against wisdom that is earthly, sensual, and devilish, and said the way a person consistently speaks is one of the clearest windows into whether their heart has truly been changed by Christ.

Nobody can tame their own tongue. Pastor Ortiz said James is honest about the size of the problem: every kind of animal has been tamed by mankind, but no man has ever tamed his own tongue. He confessed that although he is not known as an angry person, anger is still there under the surface, and the real issue was never whether a Christian gets angry but what they do the moment they feel it rise. He said the goal is never to win an argument or prove a point but to protect the relationship, and that he would rather swallow his pride and apologize than hold onto being right and damage someone he loves. He added that not every conversation needs to end perfectly resolved either. As a self-described perfectionist, he admitted he wants everything, down to the sound of the blinds and the acoustics of the room, to be exactly right, and he has had to learn that people and conversations do not work that way. Choosing to walk away from a disagreement without having the last word is often the more mature and more Christlike choice.

Five Ways To Guard Our Speech

Read James 3 slowly every day this week. Pastor Ortiz said the passage needs to be revisited often enough that its warnings stop feeling familiar, and encouraged the church to mark down every consequence of poor speech they find in it.

Confess it honestly to God. Before anything changes on the outside, Pastor Ortiz said a person has to be willing to submit the true state of their heart to God rather than only managing their words in public.

Guard what feeds the heart. Since the mouth speaks out of the abundance of the heart, Pastor Ortiz said he is careful about the movies and music he allows in, not because every song must be a Christian song, but because certain content stirs emotions and appetites that eventually surface in speech.

Slow down before responding. Quoting Proverbs 29:20, that there is more hope for a fool than for one who is hasty with his words, Pastor Ortiz said not every comment needs an immediate reply, and learning to pause is often the difference between a wise answer and a wound.

Choose words that build others up. Citing Ephesians 4:29, Pastor Ortiz said Christians are called to speak only what ministers grace to the hearer, extending the same undeserved kindness in conversation that God has already extended in salvation.